In a tale of make sure you’re getting revenge on the right person, this revenge tale is a about a man who drove a garbage truck for a living.  He suspected his wife was cheating on him and set out to prove it one day.  He took a few laps around the block, seeing nothing at first.  Finally he went to lunch and came back.  This time, there was a bright red Corvette commercial parked in front of his house and the blinds to his room were drawn, which his wife only did when she was having sex.

The man turned his garbage truck around, backed it up to the convertible, and proceeded to dump an entire truck full of garbage onto the convertible.  He then pulled over to have a good chuckle at his handy work.  Within a couple of minutes, a panicked someone appeared to peer through the blinds and then a panicked man came running out of the garbage truck driver’s house carrying his pants.  He didn’t make for the convertible, though.  Instead, he got on a bicycle and began peddling away.

Moral of this story?  It would have been a pretty cool way of exacting revenge if the convertible had actually belonged the man’s wife’s lover.  Instead, readers are left shaking their heads and hoping the man has good insurance to pay for whatever damage was incurred to that convertible.  Still, even with a meatier insurance premium likely on the horizon, the man’s wife definitely knows that he was watching is likely to think twice before engaging in another affair.

What is a girl to do when her boyfriend has an affair with her best friend and then decides he’d rather live with the best friend than her?  Why she empties a pack of frozen shrimp along with a few chunks of beef into the hems of his curtains, of course.  At least that’s what one girl did while moving out of her ex-boyfriend’s house after he decided he’d rather co-habitate with her best friend.

The smell quickly went from mild odor to rancid.  They couldn’t even be in the room.  They tried everything.  They even had professional cleaners come give it their best shot.  Nothing helped.  The couple finally decided they couldn’t continue living in the house.  In order to buy themselves out of the lease, they had to pay two months of rent and forfeit their deposit, which amounted to several thousand dollars.  On the day of the move, the jilted woman drove by.  She decided to park her car and watch as items were brought out of the house and loaded into the moving truck.  She began laughing hysterically when she saw a mover hauling the drapes with the spoiled shrimp and beef in the hems.

Although it’s unlikely this one went on forever, it’s hard to believe that anyone with a decent sniffer didn’t discover that it was the curtains either during the move or right after when they went to rehang the curtains, it’s still a pretty decent way at getting back at someone.  Rather than one short hit, the woman was able to draw out her revenge indefinitely.  Furthermore, although suspicion is likely to be high once the trick is discovered, there’s really no way to prove that she did anything.  The fact that the new lovers are no longer able to occupy the place she once shared with her ex-boyfriend and had to plop down thousands of dollars to establish a new home, which the woman likely had to do first, is a bonus because at the very least, it evened the score.

Here’s a tale highlighting that that you’re never too old to get revenge.  A group of teenagers used to toilet paper the homes of some of the town’s elderly citizens every Halloween.  They chose the older people because they knew they’d likely be able to outrun them if they got caught.  They also typically went to bed quite early.

Every year, the senior citizens were faced with the rigorous task of cleaning up the day after.  The year before they got revenge, an older gentleman named Elijah fell and broke his hip.  Because he was older, it did not heal quickly and he ended up spending several weeks in the hospital before finally being moved by his family to a convalescent home.

This angered the rest of the town’s citizens who had been victims of the teenagers’ annual prank.  So that Halloween they decided to give the teenagers a taste of their own medicine.  The elderly citizens armed themselves with Super Soakers, shaving cream, and toilet paper.  They dressed in black and convened outside one person’s home, then hid in the bushes.  When the teenagers came to perform their annual toilet-papering prank, they were ambushed by a hoard of senior citizens, who soaked them down with super soakers, sprayed them with shaving cream, and then proceeded to cover the shocked, helpless teenagers in toilet paper.

You have to admit, even if you’re a member of a younger generation that enjoys toilet papering every now and then, this one is an excellent example of ‘We’re not going to take it anymore!’ revenge.  So kiddies, the next time you’re thinking about bullying the little old neighbor next door, remember that she may be old but she likely has friends and just because some people go to bed early and may not move as fast as they used to, it doesn’t mean they’re not clever enough to get even.

Sometimes revenge is accidental.  Several years back, a business owner who had once been wealthy but had fallen on hard times and was in dire financial straits was in danger of losing his business He became very depressed.  If his business went belly up, he would lose everything he owned—his house, automobiles, boat, etc.  He tried as long as he could to keep from telling his new young wife about his situation.  Finally, however, it became unavoidable.  When he told her, she became very angry, told him she couldn’t possibly be married to someone who was poor, and asked for a divorce.

Upset to think that his wife had only been with him for money, the man concocted a way to save his business and get rid of his wife for good.  He took out an insurance policy on her and then hired a hit man to kill her so that he could collect the insurance money and get himself out of debt.  A few days later, the man was walking his dog when he was shot and killed.  Afraid of being left penniless from a divorce, his wife had also taken out an insurance policy on him and hired a hit man to kill him.  The wife was ecstatic to be rid of her husband and to be inheriting his estate plus receiving the insurance money from the policy she’d taken out on him.  She decided she’d sell everything and move to Florida.  That night, while she was on the phone with an estate company arranging for the sale of her things, a bullet flew through the window beside her and killed her.  The hit man her husband had hired before she’d hired the hit man to kill her husband had finally struck.

Warning to anyone who may be plotting revenge that involves death:  You know what they say.  Don’t dish out what you can’t take.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but not always.  In fact, sometimes long distance love goes sour and turns the heart quite vengeful.  Such is the case for a soldier serving in the Middle East whose girlfriend sent him a letter in which she ended the relationship, explaining that she’d been involved with one of his good friends back home for some time and had fallen in love with him.

At first, the soldier was devastated.  In fact, he spent all night pondering how to respond.  The next day, he asked all of his buddies for any photos of women they might be willing to give him.  He managed to amass a rather large collection of photos by the end of the day.  He put the photos he’d been given as well as a photo of his girlfriend into an envelope addressed to her along with a note saying that he’d forgotten which one she was and asking her to identify herself.

The eye for an eye quality of this ruse makes it a clever one on behalf of the soldier by completely downplaying the impact of the affair and breakup.  The pile of photos no doubt served their purpose in suggesting to her that was insignificant to him anyway and that he, therefore, had not been hurt by her indiscretion.  Ultimately, she probably experienced the same feelings of anger and hurt that her Dear John letter had made him feel.  Talk about getting even!